The Roleplayer's Song

The tune, and to some extent the lyrics, are based upon the Cumbrian duo Paul and Linda Adams' rocked-up version of The Female Drummer. As a history of my roleplaying career, this is mostly accurate, but I've omitted many systems and gameworlds, and I've had to take a few liberties with the truth to make the damn thing scan - but what the hell, I bet no one else has ever tried to fit FGMP-15s into a filksong.

I started roleplaying at the age of thirteen,
When I 'listed with a gaming group, the like I've never seen.
The games that we played, they were full of thuggery
For they learnÚd me to play upon the D&D-a-dee.

We turned to RuneQuest when I was still a lad.
We picked on a zombie, but we wished we never had.
In the green hills of Sartar and the grasslands of Prax
We started real roleplaying and gave up hack'n'slash.

In the far future worlds of the Third Imperium,
We 'listed with the army, a jump troop battalion.
In battledress and grav belts we fought the Kforuzeng
But they were no match for my FGMP-15.

And when the war was over, then trading was our game.
In a clapped-out tramp freighter, we plied the Spinward Main.
Buy low, sell high, that's what we tried to do
But when Strephon bit the bullet, we said farewell, adieu.

In my first year at Uni, we spun a different yarn
My new group loved fantasy, and we discovered Hârn.
There was murder in Kaldor, and rebellion in Orbaal
But our stout adventurers were equal to it all.

So all you young gamers who seek glory and fame,
Get yourself roleplaying, life will never be the same.
Whatever your system, whatever your fix
The only thing to beat it is a game of Pooh-sticks.

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